A British Tag – 12 Questions

1. How many cups of tea do you have a day? How many sugars?

I am a tea-aholic, I have at least 5 & always in a cup no smaller than a pint! And no sugar.

2. Favourite part of your roast?

Roast potatoes, love them! Also love them cold a few hours later so always make enough for leftovers!

3. Favourite dunking biscuit?

Could never narrow it down to one, custard creams dunk pretty well as do Digestives, and Shorties and Hobnobs and ……..

4. Favourite quintessentially British pastime?

Tea & cake …. see above reference to tea!!!

5. Favourite word?

Love

6. Cockney rhyme slang?

I LOVE cockney rhyming slang & I laughed out loud at Easties the other night when Mick said to Alfie he’d be facing “a proper bit of bird”!

I also LOVE boatrace/face.

7. Favourite Sweet

Marshmallows

8. What would your pub be called?

I’m rubbish at creating names & I dont drink either so I don’t think I’d make the best publican!

9. No.1 British person?

The Queen …. obvs!!

10. Favourite shop / Restaurant?

I don’t have either really although I’ve just started crocheting so my fav shop at the moment is my local wool shop Phase Patch.

11. What British song pops into your head?

Land of Hope & Glory …. predictable but true!

12. Marmite?

Ooo yes please, although it usually gives me rotten heartburn!

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C-Section …. NOT the “easy option”!

As far as I’m aware the expression “too posh to push” came about after Victoria Beckham had a caesarean section with her first pregnancy. I don’t know the in’s and out’s of why she needed a section, but I am sure, like most of us who have ended up having one (or two etc) it wasn’t because she was “too posh to push” and more like something went wrong with her labour.

I ended up having an emergency section after what they call “failure to progress” …. your not kidding me …. after over 60 hours in labour, I kind of agree that I was failing to progess! I had to have an emergency section. I won’t go into detail, I’ll save that for another post.

So when the time came for me to have my second baby – this time by elective section – I was surprised when friends, ladies I worked with, friends of friends etc told me how “lucky” or “jammy” I was to be not giving birth naturally.  To say I was irked was an understatement …. “lucky” I thought to myself, they haven’t got a clue.

So let me explain how “lucky” I was ……

First of all we started with a junior anaesthetist trying and failing, for 45 minutes to administer my spinal block.  You have to curve your back right over and kind of arch it like a cat does, which trust me is easier said than done with something the size of a watermelon sat in your pelvis.  When that little joy is finally over the section begins.

A caesarean section involves the cutting of the abdomen and uterus (it is as painful as it sounds) . Your baby is born fairly quickly, within minutes really, and you are distracted by your new arrival but the surgeon then spends around half an hour putting your insides back together and sewing you up.

You obviously cannot get out of bed for at least 12 hours after a section. So you have to tend to your newborn from the “comfort” of your hospital bed! Standing up for the first time after having a section I found really tricky and pretty bloody painful, I can assure you all, I wasn’t feeling lucky or jammy at that moment in time!

You are then discharged home, wearing your sexy surgical stockings which you have to keep on for at least ten days and clutching a box of injections called Clexane which you have to inject yourself in the stomach with once a day, also for ten days, to prevent blood clots.

Moving/walking/bending etc after having a section hurts, a lot. Getting out of bed is particularly tricky and I developed a type of roll to my feet kind of move to get in and out of bed.

Obviously you can’t drive for six weeks.

I have been left with a thick lumpy scar, which got infected after both my sections requiring antibiotics, and developed into a uterine infection second time round.

There are patches around my stomach and scar which are still numb and which I doubt I will ever regain the feeling in.

My legs swelled so bad from being immobile that I looked like an extra from The Clumps.

I could go on, I’m not going to, I think you are getting the idea! If you are reading this and have had a section, I am sure you can relate.

However if you are reading this and are of the mindset that ladies who have sections get an easy ride, are a cop out, are too posh to push etc, please think on, it is most definitely NOT the easy option.

I for one, would have much preferred to do what my body was naturally geared up to do.

TTFN

Running Mamma

“He’s 3 and he’s NOT potty trained….”

Yes, my son was that child and I was completely at my wits end.

He started pre-school in April, two months after he had turned three. I was so anxious that he’d be the only one starting that was still in nappies (I still don’t know whether he was or not as I couldn’t bring myself to ask).  I was hoping being amongst his peers it might persuade him that actually the potty wasn’t so bad after all …. but it didn’t. No amounts of “but Harrison and Owen use the toilet like big boys” did not alter his outlook, he DID NOT want to use the potty.

I was exasperated. The press at the time was full of stories about five year olds going to school still in nappies, Daybreak did an article on it, full of judgemental assholes *ahem* people saying it was ridiculous and down to lazy parenting. “I’m not a lazy parent” I thought anxiously to myself but there is nothing more I can do, I cannot MAKE him go to the toilet where he doesn’t want to go.  And it wasn’t just that he didn’t want to use the toilet or the potty, he would have a full on screaming fit to the point he was nearly sick, I couldn’t keep putting him through this he clearly wasn’t ready.

Those “in the know” kept telling me “he’ll do it when’s he ready”. I was fed up of hearing that. That didn’t help the situation, that didn’t change the fact that despite being nearly 3.5 he was still wearing nappies. All my friends children were potty trained, I felt like a complete and utter failure.

I bought him a range of books …..

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We would read them together enthusiastically, I made him a reward chart and got lots of lovely stickers but still nothing. He didn’t care if Little Princess used the potty, he wasn’t going to!

“I can’t do this on my own” I said to my husband. I cannot try and potty train him and look after the baby at the same time. I told him he needed to book some time off work and then we would do it together with gusto! Being self-employed, he couldn’t take time off for a good two months. So for that time, I eased up a bit.

The weather was getting warmer so when we were just at home I would take his nappy off. We had a potty upstairs and downstairs, neither of which he used! He wee’d all over the sofa, poo’d in the garden, everywhere but the potty and again when I put him near it, he would scream blue murder.

Then one Sunday afternoon, he was browsing through Pirate Pete’s Potty book … “mummy if I do a wee on the potty, do I get to put it down the toilet” he asked me ….. “yes of course you do” I said, trying not to get ridiculously excited! With that he went and did a wee on the potty and flushed it down the toilet! I actually couldn’t believe it! I praised him no end, he got stickers and chocolates! So he then did it again and again and again!

The relief was immense and from that afternoon onwards, he hasn’t worn a nappy in the day since.

The following day his enthusiasm for weeing and putting it down the toilet hadn’t gone, he was still a bit hesitant with poos, I think he was a bit embarrassed but I assured him it was absolutely fine and we all do it!

Within a week he was using the potty as though he had been doing it for months! He has never had an accident, either wee or poo, since that afternoon he has told me whenever he has needed to go the toilet. I’ve been absolutely amazed. He may have taken longer than the average but when he did decide to do it, he did it really well! There was no staying in for weeks on end “just in case”.

So my advice to any other exasperated parent is, annoyingly, the same as what I was told, they will do it when they are ready. The upside of them being that bit older is that they understand you more. Had I known it would have turned out actually to be really easy, I wouldn’t have given myself such a hard time for so long!

My husband kept the time off he had booked and instead of having to do Potty Training Bootcamp we got to do exciting things like Peppa Pig World and trips to the beach.

I know if Poppy takes her time with it, which she probably won’t because she’s girl, but if she does, I am NOT going to stress, I am NOT a lazy parent, I’m just a normal parent with a normal child!

TTFN

Running Mamma

A week without Facebook …

Last Friday I deactivated my Facebook.  Am I missing it? Not at all!

I love the anonymity of Twitter, being able to say exactly how I feel without worrying what whoseamidoodge or whatsherface from school/work are saying behind my back!

Its not the first time I’ve left Facebook I must confess, my last Facebook break I was without it for over a year & I don’t doubt that at some point I’ll be tempted to log back in but for now I’m enjoying a Facebook free life!!

TTFN

Running Mamma

Willpower oh willpower where art thou?

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Gained 2lb at Fat Club Slimming World this morning, I stayed the same last week, didn’t go the week before and gained one the week before that so I think its fair to say August has been a pretty shitty month for me weight-loss wise and I don’t know why I can’t focus.

I had/have two goals. The first I set at the beginning of August was to get my 2 stone award by the end of August in time for Poppy’s first birthday party, this would have meant losing 8lb. Clearly that hasn’t happened. My other goal is my mother-in-law’s wedding which is in four weeks, I would love to have a bit more weight off by then.

It does seem whenever I set myself goals though that I spectacularly fall off the wagon!

Going by today’s weigh-in, I have 1 stone 6lb to lose just to get back…

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Willpower oh willpower where art thou?

Gained 2lb at Fat Club Slimming World this morning, I stayed the same last week, didn’t go the week before and gained one the week before that so I think its fair to say August has been a pretty shitty month for me weight-loss wise and I don’t know why I can’t focus.

I had/have two goals. The first I set at the beginning of August was to get my 2 stone award by the end of August in time for Poppy’s first birthday party, this would have meant losing 8lb. Clearly that hasn’t happened. My other goal is my mother-in-law’s wedding which is in four weeks, I would love to have a bit more weight off by then.

It does seem whenever I set myself goals though that I spectacularly fall off the wagon!

Going by today’s weigh-in, I have 1 stone 6lb to lose just to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I have another 1st 8lb on top of that to reach my target weight *sigh*.

I wonder if this treadmill of losing/gaining weight will ever end. Will I ever be happy with how I look & feel?

In the meantime if anyone has seen my willpower please send it back to me, I need it A.S.A.P.

Here’s to drawing a metaphorical line under it all and putting my all into a good week!

TTFN

Running Mamma 

When a Parent Remarries …

My parents divorced when I was 13. It was messy and acrimonious and turned my life upside down. They have both since remarried. My mum remarried when I was 17 or 18, I can’t exactly remember, I didn’t go to her wedding. My dad married his long term partner last year (eventually – I think she thought he was never going to ask!!)

My husband’s parents however had been happily married for 37 years until the summer of 2010 when my father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

It was three weeks between my father-in-law being diagnosed and him dying, it all happened so fast. At the time I was eight weeks pregnant with my son, my first pregnancy, and in an even crueller twist, he died on my birthday.

Naturally we were all shell-shocked, my husband coped (and still does cope) extraordinarily well, too well if you ask me, I don’t think he has ever fully grieved for the loss of his dad.

What surprised us all however was how quickly his mum began a new relationship. Don’t get me wrong, she was absolutely devastated when my father-in-law died, she didn’t know which way to turn –  but within four months she was dating a guy from work. Within six months he had moved in with her. Within the year they were engaged and next month will see them get married.

It will only be a small affair, my husband has been asked to give his mum away, something which I think he feels more obliged to do than wants to do.

He is going to watch his mum declare her love for another man, another man that has moved into his father’s home and taken it over as his own. A man who is desperate to play dad and grandfather to our children because he’s never had any of his own and who even asked if our children could call him Grandad.

And all this time my husband also has to deal with the fact that his father, who he idealised, will never see his children.

I am happy that my mother-in-law has found happiness and both my husband and I have always said we would hate for her to spend the rest of her life alone, she was only 55 when he died.

However I can’t help but think what a difficult day her wedding day is going to be for my husband and his sister. I was emotional at my dad’s wedding, seeing him take vows of love with somebody who wasn’t my mum was hard enough and my mum is still alive.

I know he will put a brave face on, he will pretend he’s ok, even though he isn’t, and afterwards life will carry on as normal.

I guess the point of this post was to say that the actions of our parents affect us directly, emotionally, no matter what age we are.

I am an extremely emotional & sensitive person, which stems from my own parents’ separation, and the thought of ever upsetting my children by my actions, no matter what age they are is incomprehensible to me but at the same time I appreciate that life doesn’t stand still.

I just hope this is happily ever after for my mother-in-law

TTFN

Running Mamma

From the Heart – Post Natal Depression

My daughter’s first birthday is quickly approaching however I don’t feel excited or happy, whenever I think about the day she will turn one it feels like someone has punched me in the stomach because I can’t stop the “this time last year” thoughts from running through my head.

This time last year I was roughly 3 weeks away from my planned C-section. I was nervous & scared having had a very traumatic birth with my son, and I was also wondering how this baby was going to slot into our lives. I was wondering how this baby was going to affect my relationship with my son, the very person who I loved so much I could burst, who had been my entire life for the past 2.5 years …. how were we going to adjust to not just being the 3 of us anymore.

On the day of my section I sat waiting nervously on the delivery suite, I was second on the list. We didn’t know the sex of our baby, I had a feeling it was another boy, “we’ll call him Louie” I said to my husband, who nodded in agreement. After what felt like an eternity it was our turn. In we went to the operating theatre, it took a good four attempts for them to administer my spinal block but eventually we were ready to rock & roll.  After a bit of pulling and tugging the baby was out, furiously screaming its head off, “what is it, what is it” I asked … “a girl” one of operating team said!

I couldn’t actually believe I had a beautiful baby girl, I had secretly longed for a little princess and now here she was, everything had gone amazingly well with the section and I was taken to recovery where my beautiful daughter began to feed without any issue. How lucky was I, a beautiful son and now a beautiful daughter too.

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But all was not well, a few weeks went by, my initial elation that she was breastfeeding (where I had failed to do so with Theo) was turning to despair, it hurt, a lot, my nipple was so sore it looked like something out of a horror movie, I couldn’t establish a routine and I felt like I had no time for Theo. I wanted to switch to bottle feeding which I did when she was 3 weeks and I am glad I did, I felt like a weight had been lifted when we switched to the bottle. However as time went on she was very unsettled, I was convinced there was something wrong with her, she was very jumpy and didn’t settle well, I couldn’t put her down without her crying which with a 2.5 year old also making demands on you, I just thought I can’t cope with this.

I took her to a cranial osteopath in the hope of getting her “fixed”, quite what I was hoping to achieve I don’t know, it is only now I look back with a clearer mind that I can see that this is when the post natal depression was really starting to get to grips on me. I was so weepy and I knew it wasn’t the baby blues, but how could it be the dreaded post natal depression? I loved my baby and I cared for her so it couldn’t be ….. but that didn’t change the fact that when I went to bed at night, I sincerely hoped I wouldn’t wake up, I couldn’t cope with this situation I had created, I felt guilty for ruining Theo’s life as he knew it and I was grieving the relationship we previously had.

I eventually knew I had to ask for help when I had taken Poppy off to the doctors again as I was convinced she had silent reflux, I had read about it on Google so naturally that’s what it was, after coming out of the doctors being told it wasn’t silent reflux but constipation (as if, I scoffed to myself, I think I know my baby better than him), I broke down in the chemist, Theo was yelling because he wanted a lolly, I hadn’t got the outcome I had wanted from the doctors and I just couldn’t cope anymore, I stood in tears in the chemist, people looking at me strangely but I didn’t really care …. I need help I said to myself and I need it now.

I took myself off to the doctors, cried a lot and came away with a prescription for Sertraline, please let it work quickly I thought to myself. Poppy was around 8 weeks old at this point and beginning to give me the most amazing smiles Phone Photos 6689

After around 4 weeks I was starting to feel stronger, I can do this, I thought to myself and slowly but surely I began on the road to recovery, I still have awful days, when the head fog doesn’t clear but on the whole I am much better, but it is this resentfulness and anger I feel at post natal depression that refuses to budge, I am so angry that an illness robbed me of my precious girl’s early days, that instead of just taking the time to sit and cuddle and love her, I thought there was something wrong with her, I am never going to get that time back and it breaks my heart.

I am really trying to draw a line under these feelings, I can’t change what has happened so I have to move on, I hope that on the 3rd September as we celebrate our little girl’s first birthday that I am not clouded by negative feelings and upset, I guess only time will tell.

This has been a long post and if you’ve stuck with it, thank you for reading.

TTFN

Running Mamma

About Me

I am 32, I have been married for 8 years this year, I am a stay at home mummy to my two beautiful children who are my entire world. Before having children I was a legal secretary for over 10 years, a job I truly loved and a profession which I hope to one day return to when the children start school.  I worked for the Probation Service before having my daughter, a tough job and which although I did enjoy, you see a very dark side of life – there are things I take from that job I will never ever forget and which have definitely shaped my outlook on life.

I am currently following Slimming World to shift the baby weight (well I call it as “baby weight” in truth its years of comfort eating plus two pregnancies!! My poor body!!)  I have always struggled with my weight and there are some days when I think I am never ever going to win the battle but for the sake of my health and being a good role model to my children, I continue on this journey I struggle with so much. Which is where the running comes in.

I absolutely love running. It helps my PND so much, on days where I really struggle, to get out & pound the pavements, even just for an hour, gives me the headspace I really need to refocus. It is of course super beneficial for my health and helps with the weight loss. I am far from the fastest runner but I don’t do it for timings or to be the best and my mantra is “I am lapping all those sat on the couch”

TTFN

Running Mamma